It is a travesty
to see this kind of inhumane
behavior and conduct happen
to anyone ever again. That
is why, since then, I have
progressively climbed the
ladder of success,
regardless of all the
remarks, comments, and
roadblocks put in my path. I
had to have a will of iron.
I have had little or no help
from anyone. Let alone
encouragement or respect
from professionals in the
disability field to guide me
in the line of work of my
choice.
My own
encouragement and tenacity
guided me to become a dance
teacher for individuals with
and without disabilities,
an advocate,
and now
an author. I am on
an endless journey towards
justice for all!
My site has been developed
as a result of my own
life-long experience and
challenges throughout my
life with Cerebral Palsy and
a learning disability
(dyslexia). I want to be
able to share my life with
everyone who comes here to
show that you are not alone
no matter what your
disability is.
I was a Friday's baby, born
March 9, 1951 to Rubin &
Kate Hershkowitz. My birth
name, Karen Hershkowitz The
heavens above place me among
the best, I could not have
asked for two more loving
parents. They brought me
home to a beautiful house
that was filled with warmth
and love. However, at 5
months old, heartbreak hit
our family again. Now,
instead of my sister’s
Rheumatoid Arthritis
returning, or my father
falling through the glass
shower door, it was me. I
was paralyzed due to a DPT
shot. I fell into a deep
coma, not to wake for 10
days. The doctors gave me a
30 % chance of life. Their
medical diagnosis - severely
delayed. But miraculously, I
made almost complete
recovery. My twisted face,
straightened out, and I was
left with left side
hemiplegia, and a learning
disability. But that was not
found out until I was in
second grade; life seemed to
be a whole lot simpler than
it is today.
It was a time where the air
felt crisp and clear. A time
where one felt safe leaving
their doors unlocked and a
time where people trusted
one another more. I remember
the times, when my
neighbor's father sat
outside on his front porch,
pleasingly playing his banjo
for not only his children
but for the neighbor's
children. These are
precious, unforgettable
memories which I’ll never
forget.
Sweeter yet, I remember
having a puppy for a short
while. One day, mom came
home from doing errands. I
was with grandma in the
house. I heard mom's 52
Chevy pull into the
driveway. As I looked out
the front, closed, screen
door, I noticed my mother
walked around to the
passenger door. She opened
it, and out jumped a small,
sweet puppy. It was a mix
breed. Not more than 3 to 5
pounds, and was mocha,
toffee color, with floppy
ears. Her voice was so
melodious, that we named her
melody. She was a tiny
puppy, which our family
loved for awhile; we took
her everywhere we went. Even
to my cousin’s house where
she accompanied us up and
down my cousin’s driveway,
in the red racer wagon.
I also vividly remember how
she loved to escape from the
chain link fence. She would
dig a hole, and every
afternoon she’d be waiting
to greet us on the front
porch. Sadly, though, within
a few weeks or months, mom
gave her away because of my
sister’s allergy.
Over the years, I have
looked back on my life’s
journey only to recall the
bitter and sweet of it all.
I recapture the sweet
memories of my grandfather.
And reflect upon his memory.
One of the enduring
treasures I remember of him
was how he made my sister
and me these wonderful
automobile cars. All of my
cousin’s would come over,
and play with us. We’d have
a blast driving up and down
the sidewalk and driveway.
There was nothing I didn’t
do or try to do. Even with a
locked leg brace. My mother
did not treat me any
differently than my eldest
sister.
I come from a very close
knitted family. And when I
got sick, my mother’s family
was right by her side and
mine. At the time, my mother
did not drive a car. So with
one arm holding me, and the
other, dangling a purse and
diaper bag by her side, my
mother would tirelessly
carry and take me to
Children’s Hospital of Los
Angeles, on the bus. Mama
Katie, as I affectionately
called her, took the bus
week after week, well over a
year until she learned to
drive. Once my grandfather
taught her to drive a stick
shift, she took me wherever
I needed to go, while
singing songs in the car.
It is my sincerest hope that
my story and site will motivate you
to better your own inner
desires and to become the
individual you wish to be.
Please use my site to
benefit yourself and others,
no matter what your
disability. This site was
made especially for you.
Please use it as a vehicle
to enhance your life by
meeting and communicating
with others and building
bonds and friendships with
one another.
Reflections of Me
Some of the other
unforgettable impressions I
can sum up are of all the
exercises I did and the nice
therapist I worked with at
the time. I bring back one
moment in time, when I was
holding onto a bar, with my
two hands. This was to
straighten my left wrist. I
would take a stick like
broom, in both my little
hands. Then the therapist
would cup her hand over my
left, where I would attempt
to raise and lower the stick
up in the air and straight
down behind my back, only to
lift it up across my chest
and back down again. It was
hard work, but I always did
everything that was ever
asked of me with a smile.
Never once did I complain or
frown. On another occasion,
I can remember sitting on a
table with white sheets.
This was for clinic. I was
their star attraction- I was
only 18 months old. I was
scared, nervous, and all
alone without my mama by my
side. I sat there, in my
underwear, on display, being
starred at by over a dozen
men and women in white
starched coats.
Never once did I murmur a
word to my mother. Further
yet, I can also remember the
time my parents needed to
take pictures of my spine. I
was maybe 2 at the time. So
Mom stood me in the front
yard in my underwear. How
humiliating that was for me.
I will never ever forget
that moment. Plus, I have
the pictures which will
never erase the image in my
mind- I was gripping a toy
in my hand, while my father
snapped the pictures. I was
very self conscious and
totally aware what was
happening. However, I never
uttered a word to a soul
about my feelings.
I not only wore my
full length, leg brace to
bed every night for a long
while, but I have
indelible images of me
crying my heart out going on
the school bus, alone, to a
handicap school, at the age
of 3 years old. It was
kindergarten. I was a timid
child, who was going to be
held back if I didn’t begin
to socialize and talk to
others in class. Then, one
day, that same year, my
mother came across a dance
studio in her travels. She
inquired and soon, there
after, I was taking tap
lesson from Al Gilbert. He
opened his heart
unconditionally to me. No
wonder I do what I do today-
this man not only taught me
to hop, skip, jump and run,
but, he taught me to dance!
Time went by, and I
went from first grade to 4th
grade. I not only was the
Easter Seals poster child of
1957, but I had
many different therapists.
Some gentler then others!
The memories are logged in
my mind. It is a time stamp
of my journey and path. A
memoir of my account in
school, with therapist,
doctors, physiologist, and
struggling with a learning
disability no one really
understood.
First Recital
Oh, how I remember my first
dance recital, just like it
was yesterday. It was a very
important day for me. Not
just because I was going to
dance, but because I was
going to dance with my
teacher, Al Gilbert. How
mind-blowing an experience
it was sharing the stage
with him all alone. I felt
like I had wings! I felt
like I no longer was trapped
in this body of mine. I
remember my costume, too! Al
picked it out for me. It was
very frilly and colorful. It
made me feel beautiful and
Al made me feel like a
little princess. Oh, how I
remember looking into his
eyes how empowered I felt.
Poster Child
In the spring of 1957, I
remember being asked to be
the Easter Seals Poster
Child. How surprised I was
to be chosen amongst all the
others. It was my first
experience given the
opportunity to shine before
the world. As I look back on
my life, I have many
enduring memories. I can
remember that day vividly in
my mind- like it was
yesterday! What a tremendous
experience that was for me-
Today, when I think back on
those moments, I can clearly
remember the pretty velvet
dress I wore, and how my
mother primped and fussed
over me. How special that
was- And oh, how special my
mother made me feel- from
the curl in my pony tail, to
my shiny white polished high
tops-she made me feel like a
living doll! Would you
believe that I even had a
fascination with the bunny?
I thought it was real! After
the photo shoot, I can also
remember being presented
with a Raggy-Ann doll- Oh
how beautiful she was-This
experience was so awesome
for me, that it has been
etched in my mind forever.
These memories have moved me
beyond words. They were
miraculous too! Something I
will always cherish.
During the 60’s, many
altering events shaped my
life. I not only moved into
a new home with my family,
which I loved and adored-
but I met new neighbors, and
had new experiences. I also
became very close with my
girlfriend, Lily. And I can
brilliantly remember having
the biggest solo dance
routine, of my young life.
I spent countless hours
taking swimming lessons,
dance lessons, tutoring
lesson, special education
classes, and even tried to
learn the piano. Every spare
waking, moment, I was doing
some form of therapy.
Including, going to Al’s on
the spur of the moment. If
Al had a cancellation in his
schedule, my mother would
pick me up from school, and
take me to his studio where
I was by his side, learning
to shuffle ball change,
plea, and learning to bend
my knee while hopping and
skipping to music with my
leg brace on. I even
remember Al buying me some
small cymbals, castanets,
and the most beautiful
ballet bar a little girl
could ever have or dream of.
One time, he came back from
one of his many tours, with
a book about a little girl
who had week legs and became
a ballet dancer. I can’t
ever remember a time when
this man did not give me
anything but his
unconditional love.
Moreover, I can
descriptively recollect the
day I went to clinic. On
that day, I can remember
doing all the things I would
routinely do. Including,
parade back and forth for
the Doctor in my underwear-
then, without warning, he
told me and my mother that I
could hang up my brace
forever. What a sweet, sweet
moment that was for me.
But I also remember some
very traumatic and shocking
experiences as well. I bring
to mind the time I went to
the beach with my girlfriend
Lily, and her brother, where
I almost drowned in the
ocean. I recall being
ostracized and not being
accepted by the children at
school, and I remember being
bitten by a dog before I
first moved into this house.
On still another occasion, I
can remember falling and
breaking my front tooth, and
still another, falling while
crossing the street, and
scaring my knees up pretty
badly- this was because my
leg brace locked on me. Even
more, intensely, I can
remember the time when I was
bitten by another dog, and
had to have rabies shots.
The worst, though, was in
the mid sixties, when we had
to abruptly move out of our
beautiful home. A chain link
of events took place. In
succession, my grandfather
had a stroke, 3 years later,
in 1965, my cat not only got
hurt and disappeared for
good, but my grandfather
died, followed by my father
dieing 6 months later with
untreatable cancer. But that
was not the final blow. The
final blow was in 1969.
While working, I received a
phone call from my mother.
She brought me the news that
my cousin died in the
Vietnam war. I was only 17
years old.
My civil rights case -
Because of the treatment,
the labeling, and the
discrimination lay before
me; I remember hitting the
lowest of my lows. I
remember phone call after
phone call, letter after
letter, getting no-where and
doing something that no
other disabled person before
me did.
I had no other course or
choice but to fight the good
fight! I had to take the
bull by its horns and
conquer this challenge
before me. I had to survive
and make a place for myself
in this world and in society
when no one else would help
me.
Thus, I sought out advice to
bring legal suit against the
State Department of
California Rehabilitation.
This was the first Civil
Rights Case ever under
section 504 of the
rehabilitation act, and in
1979, I won my case.
I have many memories before
and after that are bitter
sweet! Mostly, I am proud,
over-whelmed, and taken back
by what all I have
accomplished. Not just for
myself, but for all those
that came after me! All I
did was try to help myself!
I tried to stop the
depredating effects of being
called Mentally Retarded,
and not being given the same
rights as a so called
“Normal Person.” I am
humbled by this experience,
and will never ever stop
advocating for the rights of
disabled people and those
with special needs or
helping them.
This decree, allowed me to
start my education in junior
college and attain the goal
of my dreams. OCR, (The
Office of Civil Rights)
found the California
Department of Rehabilitation
in direct violation. They
unjustly violated me and my
civil right to obtain an
education because of my
learning disability. Now in
college, and upon suggestion
from my mentor, I entered my
short children's story into
a writing contest. For
months, I spent countless
hours writing this
composition, thinking little
of what was to come. To my
surprise, I won second place
in the Kaleidoscope Literary
Arts Magazine, International
Prose fiction Art award
contest. Time passed, and I
continued my studies in
college.
My Education
Activities
Department Programming
Certificate This was one of my first
certificates. I remember
being very nervous but very
determined to make this
happen.
Health Care
Coordinator Certificate I remember how excited I was
to go for this certificate.
I remember what getting this
certificate meant to me and
my livelihood.
Adventures In
Attitude Certificate I remember how much more
knowledge I was going to
learn from this certificate.
I remember also thinking how
much more insight I would
gain about other people's
personalities, and how much
more effective I would be in
helping others and giving of
myself unconditionally.
Fitness Consultant
Certificate This was a very proud moment
for me. I remember how I was
going to learn about the
body and how it moved. This
excluded all the years of
prior dance training I had
behind me.
Social Psychological
Program Solving Coursework
Certification I remember how with each
course I grew. I remember
how much I learned about
human behavior and how this
would help me to help
others.
Associate In
Religious Science
Certificate Oh how I remember being so
full of self-confidence that
I just went and signed up
for this class. I remember
how deep my desire was to
learn and let go of my past.
I learned so much about
myself during this period in
my life. I remember all the
insights I had, and how
excited I was with each
revelation! I also remember
repeatedly seeing how driven
and determined a person I
was to succeed. I also
remember conquering things
in my life that others said
I could not or would not
ever be able to accomplish.
I also became aware of my
positive attitude, and my
ability to keep believing in
myself. Finally, I remember
being able to recognize and
taste the gift of my own
true self. Having a
tenacious attitude, I had
the awareness and
willingness to go to any
length to achieve and
conquer.
-
Santa Monica CollegeAssociate of Arts Degree-
-
I
remember feeling on top of
the world. I remember the
feelings of not feeling dumb
and stupid anymore! And, I
remember embracing this
particular moment
completely. I proved
something very important to
myself at that given moment.
I proved to myself that I
could do it! That I could
prove what others said of me
wrong! I could taste my
success of hard work well
done. I also could taste the
knowledge well learned. I
could feel my freedom and
independence under my wings,
and I could taste the
thought; that one day I'd be
able to go out into society
and be a productive woman
just like everyone else. I
also remember how excited I
was to prove to myself that
I could read and write like
others and that I was a
smart person.
Kaleidoscope
Literary Award Oh, I was completely taken
by surprise! I never thought
or knew that I could write
so well. Nor did I know that
entering this contest would
bring these results. Life
was very sweet at that
particular moment. What a
gift! That was a turning
point in my life! I knew
that all my hard work and
determination had paid off.
Most importantly, I now felt
within myself that I had
conquered my learning
disability.
Education Experience
Then, in 1979, I won the
first Civil Rights case, in
the State of California.
This decree, allowed me to
start my education in junior
college and attain the goal
of my dreams. OCR (The
Office of Civil Rights)
found the California
Department of Rehabilitation
in direct violation. They
unjustly violated me and my
civil right to obtain an
education because of my
learning disability. Now in
college, and upon suggestion
from my mentor, I entered my
short children's story into
a writing contest. For
months, I spent countless
hours writing this
composition, thinking little
of what was to come. To my
surprise, I won second place
in the Kaleidoscope Literary
Arts Magazine, International
Prose fiction Art award
contest. Time passed and I
continued my studies in
college.
When the fall of 1980 came,
I began my college
education, I worked very
hard and then,
in
1985, I proudly gradated,
with honors. I
earned my Associate of Arts
degree. However, that did
not stop the discrimination
from continuing...
I went through many more
years of hurt and
disappointment, as I never
was able to go on with my
education and attain my
Bachelors or Masters Degree
in Dance, as I had planned.
For a third time, I was
wrongfully labeled. Only
this time, I was unable to
find anyone, including
Office of Civil Rights, to
back and support me and
serve as my advocate. All my
records were sealed and no
lawyer, in the state of
California would aid me in
my quest.
As unfair as it was, this
experience made me fight
even more for my life. I
never gave up hope, nor did
I give into any of their
negatives beliefs. I never
stooped to their level by
giving up on my dreams. My
self-worth and self-esteem
soared. My efforts paid off,
and were never in vain.
Despite all I’ve
gone through, I am proud to
say that I have accomplished
my goals. I became an
aerobic teacher and
throughout the years
continue to teach others
with and without physical
challenges. I have had the
pleasure of sitting on The
Client Services Committee
for clients with
developmental disabilities.
I even had the honor of
sitting on the Executive
Board of Protection &
Advocacy Inc. Now, my story
The Broken Hoof has now been
published by Publish
America. If you are looking
for a motivational speaker
to inspire your
organization, I am now
accepting public speaking
engagements.
For your enjoyment, I have
also included 5 of my
favorite poems for your
viewing. They are a sampling
of my collection from my
book of poems. My hope is
that my website will leave you
with a constant yearning
desire to never give up on
yourself. Keep reaching for
your dreams and desires.
They will come true if you
work for them. I am living
proof!
I share my story in the
hopes that it will be of
help and strength to others.
To tell you that you are not
alone! I believe that I have
walked this path for all of
you. So that you will not
have to go through the pain
and suffering I have
experienced. I would like to
see this kind of
discrimination stopped in
its tracks. It is a travesty
to see this kind of inhumane
behavior and conduct happen
to anyone ever again.
That’s why, since then, I
have progressively climbed
the latter of success
regardless of all the
remarks, comments, and road
blocks put in her path. I
have had a will of iron. I
have had little or no help
from anyone. Let alone
encouragement or respect
from professionals in the
disability fields to guide
me in the line of work of my
choice. My own encouragement
and tenacity have guided me
to become a dance teacher
for individuals with and
without disabilities, an
advocate, and now an author.
I am on an endless journey
towards justice for all!
I began working in December
1969 as a sales girl. I
remember working at the
White Front Department Store
for Christmas help. Then my
mother and I found out about
California State Department
of Rehabilitation. After my
initial visits and a battery
of tests, they labeled me
borderline Mentally
Retarded. Despite, what they
said, I bravely walked
forward. Then, by their
strong suggestion, I began
working in a workshop type
atmosphere.
For well over 6 months, I
folded boxes and used a
ceiling wax machine. I did
whatever was asked of me.
Although, I knew
instinctively, that this was
not the place I wanted to
spend the rest of my life
in. So I did everything that
was asked of me. One day at
a time, I bravely walked
through this experience. I
quietly proved to them and
myself that I was worth
more. I also tried to prove
to them that their tests
were incorrect- and that I
was not borderline mentally
retarded.
So, after a summer of
getting my thoughts and
feelings together, at the
age of 20, I got my third
job as a sales girl. My
mother's assertive manner
helped me get this position
and 6 months later, I was
promoted to PBX switchboard
operator. Even though I
faced harsh judgment and
ridicule from my working
peers, I did the very best
that I could. I went on to
other PBX operator positions
and learned from each
experience that I had. No
matter what others said of
me, my hard work and
self-determination paid off.
Never did I stop working at
the issues at hand.
It was an endless, uphill,
journey to become the best
person I could become. I
worked in that field for
many years until I found a
government funded training
program. I remember boldly
speaking up for myself and
asserting myself in a way I
never did before. That was
when this newfound boldness
became an essential part of
my being. They were so
impressed by my daring and
courageous behavior I was
immediately accepted into
their program. That was when
they tested my interest and
skills. Within a week, I
began working with people in
the mental health field as
an assistant recreation
director. I was very happy
and felt like I had found my
niche. For the first time in
my life, I felt like I could
incorporate my dance skills
with the knowledge I was
learning in this field of
recreation.
Years later, when I was in
my mid twenties, I decided
to go back to California
State Department of
Rehabilitation to seek help
for my college education. I
wanted to pursue a degree in
the field of recreation. I
felt that this was a
reasonable goal, especially
considering my learning
disability. Once again, the
discrimination started. It
was a tireless, incessant,
never-ending battle to
explain my needs, wants, and
desires to a group of people
and an organization who were
supposed to be there for
those who have impairments
and disabilities. All I
wanted was to be like any
other person in society. I
knew that some day my mother
would be gone and I was
going to have to fend for
myself. I knew
instinctively, that I would
have to make my own way in
this world.
With little respect or
dignity given to me, the
State Department of
Rehabilitation once again
talked down to me in a
disrespectful, belittling
fashion, and insisted I take
another IQ test. What was so
disturbing was the fact that
these IQ test are not
accurate in detecting or
measuring any kind of a
learning disability what so
ever. So, once again, I
willingly smiled and took
the test. However, inwardly,
I was fuming. I was at my
ropes end. I was no longer
going to be treated in a
manner in which California
State Department of
Rehabilitation deceitfully,
sneakily, and cleverly led
me to believe. I had rights,
and I was going to succeed!
No matter how clearly and
articulately I tried to
explain myself, they just
would not listen to my
reasoning. That was when I
had enough! I was not going
to stand for this kind of
degradation ever again.
Hence, I took matters into
my own hands. That was when
I began taking all kinds of
steps and actions. That was
when I wrote President Jimmy
Carter. I was going to put a
stop to this discrimination
finally. That was in the
middle seventies. During the
next 4 years, I worked very
hard to get this matter
resolved. During the same
period of time, I also got a
job as a recreation director
in a convalescent hospital.
I gave to others and
fulfilled their needs. I
gave of myself
unconditionally to all the
clients and people I worked
with. Sadly, though, I later
found out that my immediate
boss stabbed me in the back-
by what he told California
State Department of
Rehabilitation. I was
beginning to see how
unfairly and unjust people
could really be. Especially
how one person could
manipulate the system for
personal gains?
A few months later I picked
myself up from this
experience, dusted myself
off, and moved on with my
life. I began working at a
very well known organization
for individuals with
Cerebral Palsy. Prior to
this date I worked for this
well-known organization a
few other times, of which
will remain nameless. I not
only taught dance,
recreation and independent
living skills, but also I
worked on all areas that
they wanted me to develop.
This continued until I was
verbally abused and
belittled by my superiors
and my disability and
personhood was at stake.
Having had this experience
before, I sought out legal
help and with much
distortion and
misrepresentation on my
lawyer’s advice, I settled
out of court. I kept on
keeping on, no matter what
was said of, and too, me.
Then a few years later in
1978, I won the first Civil
Rights case in the state of
California for my education,
under the 504 Rehabilitation
Act of 1973. When the fall
of 1980 came, I began my
college education. I worked
very hard. Five years later,
I proudly attained my AA
Degree in English and Dance,
with honors.
After graduation, I had
plans to continue my
educational climb but for a
third and final time, I was
being labeled and
scrutinized again by the
Department Of
Rehabilitation. I had had
just about all that I could
take- I not only took
California Rehabilitation to
the Office of Civil Rights
for a second time but I
sought out, with laborious
difficulty, a lawyer to help
me sue for punitive damages.
Even though no one was kind
enough to help me in my
quest; I kept looking for
the answers towards a better
life. I never found legal
representation, or a lawyer
to take my case to find
legal justice- but I vowed
to myself that this
experience would never
tarnish my attitude and my
personal beliefs.
Thank you so much for
taking the time to read
Karen's story. It is CPN's
pleasure to share with you
the story of one of our
pioneer advocates. |